If you’ve talked about, thought about, or looked up things on homeschooling, chances are high that you’ve come across the ever popular question, “What about socialization?” We’ve been right were you are, wondering how on earth our kids will be properly socialized if they aren’t around other kids at school all day. It’s one thing that holds a lot of parents back on homeschooling from the get go or pulling their kids out of public school.

Socialization and social skills are important, asking questions and talking about them are important. Kids need to have opportunities for socialization and need to gain social skills, they need them for every day life now and even more so as an adult. As homeschoolers, we just know that sending your child to public school is not the only, and not necessarily the best way for kids to gain them. So, let’s take a minute and talk about what social skills are. First and foremost, they are skills and skills are learned over time, with lots of exposure and experiences for practice, from someone who already has that skill. This last part is so important. If you wanted to strengthen your drawing skills, would you go to someone who has similar skills as you, or would you seek out someone with years of experience who has fine-tuned their artistic ability? If you truly wanted to get better at drawing, you’d pick the experienced one. So, why then do we think that sending our child to school, where they are surrounded by kids with the same level of social skills they have, the best way for them to learn and grow their skills?

When your child is at home learning from you and out in the real world learning from you, you will be amazed at how their social skills actually grow. Time and time again we get comments on how kind, helpful, and hardworking our kids are. People want to know how we get our kids to work well with others, or how we got them to have such great manors. The answer, we homeschool! They see us doing these things, we have lessons on these things, they get experience doing these things in and out of our home. They also have a lot of daily interactions with siblings that help them practice important social skills. And, surprising to some, they have friends that they get to interact with, work out problems with, perhaps even get into situations where learning important lessons happen.

Speaking of friends, being homeschooled does not mean your child will not have ample situations for socialization. There are so many opportunities for your child to make friends and be around other kids. It is what you put into this area of their life that will determine how much socialization they get. Playing with neighborhood kids, getting involved in an extra curricular activity, or joining a group are some great ways to get in that socialization. But, don’t be fooled into thinking that socialization only means spending time with other kids. Visiting with grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, or participating in community activities are also ways kids get to socialize with others. To help you get a better sense of socialization opportunities, let’s compare it to public school. In reality kids only get a few times throughout the day that they are actually socializing with their peers. They get a recess break, lunch, and perhaps a few breaks to play in the classroom. Most the time, they are at their desk for lessons or waiting/walking in lines. So, sure, they are around other kids, but they really aren’t experiences true socialization all day long.

Now, this isn’t all to say that kids in public school are doomed to be socially awkward, not at all. We went to public school and think we turned out pretty good. But, it is to say that homeschooling doesn’t mean your child will grow up being the weird one. It is also to say that homeschooling can actually give your child a leg up with the ample experiences available and the examples they learn from. It is all dependent on what you put in to teaching your child and the experiences you give them.

One other thing that we want to talk about, that we feel is extremally important for kids, is allowing them to have a sense of belonging. Kids need to feel like they are a part of something bigger then themselves. Knowing that someone, outside of family members, likes them and wants to be around them can do wonders for their confidence and willingness to put themselves out there. Plus, having an outlet outside the home can be a great thing for a child’s overall well being. One great thing about homeschooling is that we get to give our children whatever experiences we can dream up.

Here are some possible outlets and activities to get your thoughts flowing:

• Join a co-op or social group (check out this post to learn more)
• Get involved in a community musical or play
• See if your child can participate in band or orchestra through the local school
• See if there are any homeschool band, choir, or orchestra groups already in your area
• Join a boy/girl scout troop in your area
• Check out programs/activities at your local YMCA or rec center
• See what your local library offers
• Join 4-H
• Create a club with kids from the neighborhood or your church
• Participate in city sport leagues like baseball or soccer
• Take dance, art, or taekwondo lessons
• Join a volunteer group local to you

Your Homework:

What’s a homeschool blog without a little homework?

• Let go of the stereotype that has been given to homeschooling, your child is not going to be hindered socially just because they are homeschooled. There are weirdos everywhere: In public schools, at work, at church… We are all a little odd in our own way. Your kids will be just as weird as you.
• Teach manners to your kids. In life, we deal with people of all ages… not just our own age. And manners go a long way in developing good social skills.
• Find one thing that your child can have as an outlet or activity and get them involved in it.
• If there isn’t anything in your area, create something! Chances are there are other homeschool families looking for similar things and would love to join you.